I’m done adulting/parenting for today

This post is brought to you by the letter “P” and the colour Brown.

 

I have just put the kids to bed and I’m loading the dishwasher, then the following happens.

 

Isabelle: Mmmmmoooooooommmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Yes??????

Isabelle: Uh, my poop won’t go down the toilet!!!!!!!!!!

Me: ……………………I had no appropriate words for this so I chose to remain silent for a moment. Then asked if the water was going to overflow the toilet.

Isabelle: The water goes down, but my poop won’t!!!

Me: FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!! (Said in my head, but I’m pretty sure the expression on my face said enough.)

If it wasn’t for the fact that I don’t want to make all my reader vomit on their computers, I’d post the photo I took of the massive turd my eight year old managed to birth from her tiny butthole. I took a photo to send to the husband as he’s not home tonight. I sent the photo because of his “ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha” comment he sent me when I texted him the problem I was faced with.

First thing I do is send the children back to bed. Yes, they all had to come and have a good look at the poop baby that just came out of Isabelle’s butt. She had to retell the story to them despite the fact that they all heard her telling me the problem the first time around. In fact, if the weather permitted open windows the neighbours would have heard about her enormous poop baby.

Next, I decide to go get a plastic bag. An arms length of paper towels (unnecessary yes, but I am taking no risks here), and one of the many dollar store paint brushes we seem to own. Then I head back upstairs to the wedged poop baby in the toilet.

Clenching my jaw together, so I don’t vomit, I use the handle end of the paint brush to turn the poop, immediately wrap the paint brush in all the paper towels, put in plastic bag, tie several knots in the bag, flush toilet. Now the fucking thing is stuck going down. I plunge the toilet that is filling with murky poop water, still clenching my jaw as not to vomit. Success! Poop baby has been flushed! Clean up and take plastic bag out to the garbage in the garage.

First thing going on shopping list for tomorrow: foods with more fibre for Isabelle. Now, this girl is done. The kids will just have to survive whatever happens between now and tomorrow morning when the alarm goes off at 6:45am, adulting/parenting time is over. Bring on the pj’s and Netflix!

The girls are going camping!

*I wrote this post yesterday but I am only getting around to posting it today. What happened? Well, I left this to the last minute before having to go pick up kids. Went and picked up kids, frantically drove kids to a hair place because it’s picture day today. Aidan looks less scruffy now, Madeline can see out from under her bangs and I had them straighten Isabelle’s hair for me. Then it was home to do homework, laundry, make dinner and get ready and go to Brownies. We weren’t home until just after 8pm. Rush kids to bed, do more laundry. Try to have a relaxing bath only to realize that there won’t be enough hot water. Give up and go to bed. **Run around like a crazy person getting kids ready for picture day only to realize I forgot to put Aidan’s clothes in the dryer. The shirt he absolutely has to wear is still wet….crank up dryer to get it dried in time……

So please enjoy yesterday’s post today!!!  🙂

I’m not really sure who is more excited, myself or the girls! After a bit of trouble, we finally got the girls signed up in Brownies. Madeline has been wanting to go camping forever and I figured this might be the best way for her to experience it! Isabelle hasn’t been quite as keen on it, however it finally starting to get excited. This also means that Madeline is going to start getting nervous.

Yeah, I can’t win. Who knew 7&8 year old girls were such emotional roller coasters. I really didn’t expect this for a few more years!! This is typical Madeline and Isabelle however. Madeline will be really excited to do something or try something new right up until it’s time to actually do whatever it is. Isabelle will be shy and nervous and not want to do it all, but when she’s got no other choice, ie. Mommy dropping her off at Brownies for the first time and walking out the door, she always says she had a great time. Kids are weird.

The girls successfully sold all their cookies. They had some help from Daddy who sold a lot to his co-workers. The girls did a great job going to some of the houses in the neighbourhood as well. Isabelle really enjoyed doing this. I’ve never seen her so enthusiastic about something!! My favourite part was when a house down from us said they couldn’t buy a box because they had just spent a bunch supporting Scouts. The girls faces went from all smiles to that pitiful sad look kids get. Both of them practically said in unison “oh….okay…….thank you.” Two seconds the later, the woman hands over $5 and takes a box from the girls. The girls couldn’t figure out why I was chuckling to myself.

This weekend Aidan will have the house to himself. It’s always a little strange when it’s just Aidan home. The house is so quiet. This likely makes me sound like a bad parent, but Aidan can be so quiet that I forget there is even a kid at home! I am trying to think of something that we can do together that he will enjoy since most of our outings are based around something the girls would also enjoy. The nice part is that all I really need to do is offer to shoot nerf guns all day and he’d be happy!

Halloween is approaching quickly! I need to seriously get my ass moving on making these wands. They shouldn’t take me too long once I get going on them. I’ve looked up a few idea on Pinterest. Here’s a peek at the scarves my talented mother in law knitted for the kids in Gryffindor colours. I ordered these patches from someone on Etsy and will put them on the robes my Mom is making for the kids!

I think they are going to look fantastic! The wands are on my to do list for tomorrow while the kids are at school.

Tomorrow is picture day, fingers crossed Isabelle doesn’t make a goofy face again this year. The photo we have of her is from two years ago. I’d like to update it!! I spent the better part of the morning at the mall trying to find something for her to wear for picture day. Her hair kills me because all the stuff I know she’d love to wear just doesn’t really go nicely with her hair. Think hot pink. Barf. Aidan has chosen to wear a long sleeve plaid shirt he picked out from Joe Fresh. He’s going to be my little lumberjack. I have no clue what Madeline’s plans are for her attire. For the most part she usually does a pretty good job of choosing something decent so I will just have to wait and see what tomorrow morning brings.