30 fingers&toes

"Are they triplets?" "No, I found the other one in the parking lot and thought, 'why not?'"

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Feeling frustrated with my gimpy leg

Body parts are just supposed to work. My dorsiflexion has improved greatly however I still can’t bring my foot up as far as my other. My leg from the knee down still gets quite tired. I still trip over my damn foot when the tiredness sets in. This has me nervous to get back on the treadmill. I feel like physiotherapy has certainly helped and is at least keeping my foot in a good place, however it’s starting to set in that this may be as good as it’s going to get.

I am still waiting on an MRI. I’m not considered emergent which makes sense, that however doesn’t make the waiting suck less. I can be a patient person. I am the mom of three kids. I believe this job takes infinite patience. I will continue to wait despite the building frustration. It is my hope that the MRI will give myself and my doctor a better idea of what is going on. It’s possible I may blow a blood vessel if it comes up with nothing.

The husband is going to be very busy with work this coming week. I am hoping that I can at least get a few days of peace and rest in this weekend before we don’t see him again until Friday. It’s a busy week coming up. The kids are starting their activities this week. Messy Science is up first and the kids are counting down the sleeps until Monday.

Madeline has a follow up sleep study this weekend as well. She’s not as nervous as she was last time. She is a little grumpy that her hair is going to get all messed up with the goop that hold the electrodes to your head. I reminded her that last time this resulted in a nice warm bath and snuggle in bed with me afterwards! This of course made her day.

Also on the go this week, Madeline starts her running group while Isabelle and Aidan have yoga. Then they all have gymnastics this week as well. It’s going to make for some busy kids but I think they will also be happy kids!

My last three courses start this coming week. I’ve enjoy this week of down time. I have briefly opened my text books and had a quick look into the first chapters. I am looking forward to completing these courses. I am a little nervous about creating a resume again. It’s been so long I may need to do a little research on what kinds of things I can even still put on there!

I’m going to take the last 45 minutes I have today before picking up the kids to have a nap. It’s raining and dreary outside and I feel like a headache is trying to set in. No time for headaches!! Can’t wait to hear about the kids day at school. Yesterday Aidan drew a picture of a guy with a smelly head. He was having such a good time telling the story he could hardly breath he was laughing so hard. Looking forward to todays stories!

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This morning I screamed….oh how I screamed

This morning I was up before my 6 am alarm. I hate that. I have a 6 am alarm to take my thyroid med. Then I go back to sleep for 45 minutes. Sometimes this 45 minutes is the best sleep I have! So much drool on the pillow afterwards. 7:15 my feet hit the floor, sometimes they hit Jersey first, then I am upstairs to try and wake the kids.

It’s been hard these past few days. The kids have had a hard time readjusting to the morning school schedule. I can’t say I blame them. It was a wonderful two weeks of sleeping in and not having to get up and get ready unless we were actually leaving the house.

This morning the twins were up at 6:55 and because I was not having the best 45 minute sleep of my life I was able to tell them to go back to bed. When I was up, I asked Madeline to wake her sister. I believe this is where our morning started to go downhill. I head upstairs right at the time Madeline is about to tell me that Isabelle won’t get up. I go in her room and rouse her from her bed. She sits up like a cranky 13 year old and gives me this look of hate. I know she loves me but right now she loves sleep and her warm bed a lot more!

The girls seemed to have regressed to needing me to pick their outfits for the day. I toss them both some clothes and head down to the kitchen. PB and banana sammies for the girls and a PB&J for Aidan. This is the breakfast they have requested for the last two days. Madeline is happily eating at the kitchen table. Aidan finally learned his lesson and is sitting at the breakfast bar. He sits there because he gets cranky and pissy when his sisters look at him at breakfast. Sigh… Isabelle finally strolls into the kitchen. Practically throws herself into the chair, looks at her breakfast, turns to me and says “Can I have cereal starting tomorrow please….I didn’t ask for this. I thought today was going to be a cereal day!” Towards the end of this sentence she is getting quite agitated. I just said sure, sounds good. Every time she put her cup of milk down we all heard it.

The three of them managed to keep away from each other while brushing teeth and hunting for socks. The real trouble came when Aidan made it though his morning jobs first and got the Netflix remote. The girls hate everything Aidan chooses and Aidan hates everything the girls choose. So you can imagine what it’s like listening to the three of them when someone is trying to choose a show. Two times I reminded them that should they keep arguing about who watches what, how much and how long that they will lose TV. By this point they had about 25 minutes of free time. The girls spent most of this time being assholes to each other. Madeline pissing off Isabelle, Isabelle pissing off Madeline. Pray for me as they get older…..or offer to take one to live with you when puberty hits?

The TV was told to be shut off when the argument started for the third time over who’s turn it was to choose something. I am so sick of this argument. Like throw out the remote sick of it….problem is I like to watch TV too when I have the time!!!

I pack up their lunches. Usually they take turns helping me pack them up, but I was in no mood and neither were they. Lunches done, backpacks are being loaded up. Jackets and shoes are being put on. Yes, I realize it’s cold but my kids are all exercising their rights to choose their footwear. If they want cold feet that’s on them. The twins get in the van. I’m in the kitchen turning off lights. I can hear Isabelle freaking out and then screaming and getting angry. The twins are now also yelling and screaming at each other out in the garage. I try to take a deep breath and go deal with Isabelle. The twins, I hope, will sort out their own crap.

Isabelle has managed yet again to screw up the zipper on her jacket. I find her practically pulling her jacket apart in hopes to get it apart. Now I get angry. This is not the first time she’s done this to her jacket. So it’s not the first time either her Dad or I have told her not to do that to her jacket if it gets stuck like this. I feel like I am living on a recorded loop sometimes. I say the same stuff over and over and they literally still do it!!! AAAAHHHHHH! Now I’m trying to get this zipper apart. The twins are still screaming at each other. Jersey has gone to hide in the bedroom because even she knows what’s coming.

I fix the jacket. Tell her calmly again…for the 1000th time. Please ask for help when this happens. If you break your jacket you had better hope the Velcro is enough to hold it together for the rest of winter! (That was likely unnecessary however, seriously kid…how many times….) I take another very deep breath and head to the garage. Notice the clock by the kitchen says we are about to be late. Awesome.

Get into garage. Lose my shit completely. Aidan is screaming and crying because Madeline is pushing on the back of his seat. I could hear Aidan from inside telling her to stop. Does she stop? HELL NO!!! This is 100% Madeline purposely fucking with her brother. She does the same thing to Isabelle and it gets her going too. I’m pretty sure I heard something snap. I yelled. It might be safe to say I screamed. Good jobs kids. You pushed Mommy to her go all batshit crazy and lose it stage. I hate doing this. I never feel good afterwards. However, I think they also need to know that there is only so much I can take. I like to think I am fairly tolerant. We also have really good kids so I tend to let a lot go because even their bad behaviour isn’t crazy bad behaviour. Yet, they still cross the line and when that happens they need to know.

That was it. Tonight there is no TV after school or dinner. No anything. We will have  snack, then dinner, then they get ready for bed because it’s in bed and lights out at 7pm. Tomorrow there will also be no TV. They know they are walking a fine line today. If Madeline purposely pisses people off she will be in her room until dinner or until bedtime.

Aidan had a pretty hard time heading onto the playground once we got to the school. He said he felt really bad that I yelled at them. I always feel like I am never great with words when it comes to explaining to the kids that sometimes they do stuff that just makes me angry and then I have to yell. I did my best to remind him that he is loved even when I yell at them. We hugged lots and off he went. This always gives me Mommy guilt but I know I was right and I never let them see my Mommy guilt. Today I am going to be thinking of ways they can help me do some stuff around the house.

I am starting to think the girls need to help out more with the laundry. 80% of what gets washed is theirs and I know they aren’t wearing it all. We may also clean out their closets. There is also a room full of toys we need to organize to donate. 4 boxes of stuff went today. Feels good to purge. There is so much more that needs to go!

Here’s hoping that our afterschool time is better than the start of the day! I am also going to have to expand my library with books on dealing with emotion daughters…oh my god I think I’m in for it….

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Happy New Year and all that…

The kids tried their hardest to stay up until midnight. They didn’t make it and neither did I. What a surprise. I used to be able to stay up late no problem. Now I am usually in bed by 8:30 and asleep by 10pm. I am not sure what I am any more. I am not a morning person but I am also no longer a night person.

Thankfully the children stayed in bed until just after 9am on Friday. This was so very nice of them since I thought for sure they were going to be up at their usual time. We had a pretty laid back day. Kids wanted to go out but and had a hard time understanding why nothing was open. They didn’t really get the big deal about it being 2016.

This past year has been a good year. Madeline is finally having relief with regards to sleep and anxiety. We haven’t been sick much at all, knock on something wooden, just a few sniffles. The kids are enjoying school and I am almost done with school. On my last three classes starting next week.

This coming year, Aidan will be seeing the ENT and hopefully we can work with him to find a solution for Aidan’s post nasal drip issues. Madeline has two wiggly front teeth, but they too will likely need assistance in coming out. Aidan will be meeting with the Orthodontist as well this year. I am certain that all three kids are going to need help from the Orthodontist. Sigh….good thing I will be looking for work soon.

We are headed South again this spring. The kids have no idea about this trip. I think we will surprise them at their birthdays with this news. I plan to scale back on gifts this year. With having just had the holidays and next comes all three of their birthdays, it’s just a lot. I figure we might as well use some of the money we would just spend on gifts for the trip! Happy Birthday kids, we are going to Florida!

The tree was decorations around the house were down just a few days after Christmas. I think tomorrow I will tackle the outside lights. Scratch that, the weather just mentioned we might actually get snow. So this afternoon it is!

I wish you all a very happy new year! I hope you enjoyed your Christmas break as much as we did!