30 fingers&toes

"Are they triplets?" "No, I found the other one in the parking lot and thought, 'why not?'"

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I managed not to fart while doing Yoga

Today was my very first Yoga class and I actually enjoyed it. I am realizing that I am not as flexible and limber as I used to be however. Thankfully I am still able to walk around hours afterwards. I was totally worried that I’d be limping around like a 90 year old within 20 minutes of the class ending. I convinced a friend to take this class with me. It’s called “Slow Flow Yoga.” It’s really great for us first timers and those who hmmm, how to put this delicately….for those who are older than myself. It’s safe to say my friend and I are likely the younger ones in the class. That being said, most of these woman can move in ways my body totally said “uh nice try, I am not doing that!” High fives to them!!

While I managed not to fart during class, I was the lucky one who fell over while trying a pose on the floor. Hahahahaha. It was so hard not to burst out laughing at myself. I didn’t want to wreck the “zen” going on in the room. That’s what I get for thinking I could bend the way I was bending and lift my arm as the instructor suggested. Totally need to work on balance a bit more.

Since losing weight, my centre of gravity is way off and it’s taking some time to find it again. I hope that Yoga will help with this and also with strengthening my core. I am looking forward to the class next week. A little bummed I will be missing two weeks while we are away.

Hopefully there won’t be much more of me falling over!! Ahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Seriously it was so funny.


This is pretty much how I picture myself doing yoga!


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Understanding Ikea instructions vs. understanding kids

ikeaI’m just going to get right to it. I feel as though I can understand Ikea instructions better than I understand kids. This could mean my three kids are doomed and quite possibly will be replaced with Ikea furniture.


More specifically. I don’t understand girls. Strange because I was one once and somehow managed to turn into a pretty fantastic woman in my opinion. If you disagree, well I honestly don’t care. Perhaps that is what sets me apart. I just don’t care if you like me or not. If you don’t like me, too bad for you and I will just find someone else who does.

Girls are mean. As I explained to Madeline tonight, I think girls have been mean to each other since the dawn of time. I am a little alarmed at just how mean girls are and that it’s starting as early as grade 1.

A little back story to catch you up to speed in my ramblings. This morning I took the girls to get their hair cut. Isabelle has been pestering me for quite a while now to chop of her locks. She is irritated with how I brush her hair and yet still refuses to brush her own hair. Cutting it off really does make the most sense. Madeline wanted to cut her hair because I had recently cut my hair as well. She is literally my “mini-me” even more now after her hair cut today.

Both girls chose the length they wanted. My fabulous hair dresses squeezed us in before our upcoming vacation. Their chosen hair styles turned out fantastic! I thought all was well in the world until just 30 minutes ago. Isabelle came my bedroom where she found me studying. She has mastered passive aggressiveness and starts saying how her new hair makes her head look weird, how she wishes we lived in a mansion, that she never should have had her hair cut and on and on until I finally said something. I was of course irritated. Not at her hair, because I felt her hair was amazing. I was irritated that she doesn’t think our oversized house is big enough for her. Sigh….can’t win.

Next comes Madeline. It’s bed time and she had to come down to make sure I was coming up to tuck them in. I was delayed by Isabelle’s feelings of disappointment. Madeline hugs me and climbs on to the bed with me and says she has a secret she wants to tell me. She then shoots a look at her sister that only a sister can give, she was basically saying “This is where you get the hell out Isabelle!” She would say “hell”, but her look sure said it.

I told Isabelle to wait at the stairs and we would all walk up in a minute. Wrong. Never think to yourself that your 7 year old’s secret will only take up a minute of your time.

Tears. Sobs. Snot. Then she says to me, “I think my face is ugly.” I wanted to crumble. She continued telling me that a few of her “friends” at school like to squish her cheeks and tell her she’s got chubby cheeks. She goes on to tell me she embarrassed to smile because her two front teeth are desperately trying to fall out and are crooked like a hillbilly. And also because she had a tooth on the bottom come out recently. So now she doesn’t like to smile because she thinks people are going to make fun of her.

She said to me “I like my body but I hate my face.”

Girls are mean. PERIOD. I have not a fucking clue why they are so mean. I hate that girls are being mean and I extra hate that it’s happening to my children. Where is the manual on how to explain to your children that sometimes other children are just plain assholes?

I tried to explain that it’s possible her friends don’t think what they are doing is mean. Possible, but I could be wrong. I’m not there. Maybe they are just being mean? I can only encourage her to play with other kids, meet other kids she hasn’t played with yet and tell her that she is beautiful no matter what anyone else says to her.

I told her tonight that I will never lie to her. I did tell her that sometimes Mommy and Daddy might not be able to tell you things to protect them or maybe because it’s a surprise. However, I will always tell her the truth. I will never just tell her something because I think that’s what she need to hear. My girls know that babies, should they choose to have them, will come out of their vagina’s. I don’t see the point in lying to them. I won’t tell them anything they can’t handle.

I told Madeline that girls are mean. I can’t explain why. I wish that girls weren’t mean and that if she needs to she can come to me or her Dad and we can talk. About anything.

She asked me if I ever had to deal with girls being mean. I drew a blank. I’m sure I did but I don’t really recall. Throughout school I did my best to just be friends with anyone and everyone. I floated around through the groups and managed to get through relatively unscathed. I was picked on by a few boys. In High school, Mickey Schmitt gave me a pet name of “Walrus.” I’m not sure how far he went in life, but it’s likely I will never forget him thanks to his pet name for me. I did choose to not let it get to me, aside from that time I believe I threw my binder at him in Ms. Eastman’s art class.

Yes, I will tell my girls about this. I will throw in that they should not also throw school materials at people. It was wrong and I didn’t throw anything at him again.

I’m sure it’s possible people were making fun of me, but I really just didn’t care. I couldn’t wait to get out of High school and be somewhere else. I made new friends. Since then I have made even more new friends. I have also chosen to not make new friends, I am getting too old for this shit.

Bottom line, if they are your “friend” then they shouldn’t be making you feel like this. You shouldn’t be crying over something a “friend” said to you or the way they treated you. Friends should make you cry because you are up way too late watching You Tube videos about screaming goats and you are laughing so hard there are tears. They make you cry because they have just done something utterly amazing for you when you are having a really shitty day. They are there to cry with you when someone close to you dies or you just pushed a human out of your vagina!

I hugged my girls tight tonight. Told them I loved them and that I am always there for them and that I will always tell them the truth.

Girls are mean, I can’t change that. I am going to do everything possible to help you not be a mean girl so that when another girl is upset at school you can tell her it’s going to be okay.

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Counting down the days

Our vacation is coming up and I have managed to cross a few things off my long to-do list. Isabelle has a bathing suit! I on the other hand, do not. There is one on it’s way from Land’s End. It had better be amazing for the cost of duty! We do have access to a postal box in Michigan but I figured by the time we paid for gas and go across and back and likely stop for lunch, it would cost the same as just having it sent here. Fingers crossed it arrives in time and that it also doesn’t suck.

I have picked up some things from the Dollar Store to amuse the spawn on the trip. I have a few more things to grab but they will have to wait until the week before we leave. All three kids have flip flops, I yet again do not. I am saving all my stuff for the end. In typical Mommy fashion I’d rather make sure the kids are taken care of before I worry about myself.

Speaking of vacations, I found this picture to be rather accurate. I don’t know what it is lately, but I can’t seem to get a moment alone.

untitledThe kids are pumped for vacation. The countdown has been on for the past few weeks and the excitement is getting crazy! Yesterday at school Isabelle decided to make up name tags for our beds. She has made them for the husband and I so far and plans to make hers and her siblings today. She was rather concerned that we weren’t going to know where we are all expected to sleep.

On this trip we are not going to Disney. We went a few years ago and the kids really enjoyed themselves. I’d like to take them to Universal, mainly for the Harry Potter stuff, but we are going to wait a few more years so they can really enjoy all that the park has to offer. I also need a few years to save up the $700+ it’s going to cost to take our family of 5 there. We were planning on going to Legoland but now I am not so sure as I haven’t been hearing good things. If you have been recently, within this past year please comment and let me know what you thought!

It’s back to studying for me. I’ve been having far too many dreams about failing my exams. I know this is basically impossible and that I am doing really well. My brain seems to be enjoying this torture. I dreamt again last night that I completely missed my exam and had to take the entire course over again and kept failing all my assignments. Stupid dreams. I know I am putting too much pressure on myself and I think because these are my last courses I am super stressing about them.


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Oh Public Heath pt. 2

I find it rather amusing to read this article at cbc.ca  just now after my many phone calls this morning (click on the word article to be taken to it). My favourite part is where they say the letters will be going out at the end of the school year and suspensions will begin in the fall.

So was Isabelle just your trial run?




Oh public heath….

On Friday Isabelle handed me an envelope that said it was from Public Health here in Windsor. I opened it and read that Isabelle was apparently missing some vaccinations and if we didn’t a) vaccinate her or b) have a letter of exemption she was going to be suspended starting April 22nd.

I don’t appreciate letters like this. While I’m glad they got in touch with us about her possibly infecting the whole school and bringing on an outbreak of measles, mumps and rubella, it would have been just fine if they had called me up a month ago and said “Hey, did you know it seems as though your child is missing some of their vaccinations?”

I called our pediatrician and requested an appointment to get Isabelle’s vaccinations up to date and explained there was some urgency in this because the school was going to suspend her in two weeks if we didn’t. They booked us in for 9:30 this morning. Then as I’m about to get the kids ready and into the van her office calls and says they aren’t comfortable doing the vaccination because they are certain there is a mistake somewhere. I can’t blame them. I’m all for vaccinations, but no need to over do it!! They suggest I call our last Dr. Her first dose was in 2009. Drive kids to school and start googling our Dr in Milton. I call and explain the situation. I give my info and she will call back.

Put in a call to my husband to bring him up to speed and to share in some of the morning shenanigans I had to deal with. Isabelle was having a meltdown over her impending needle. She didn’t know I was taking this photo of her mid anxiety meltdown.


She calls back. This might be the fastest call back I’ve ever had from a Dr’s office!! Lucky day! She found the records we needed and gave me the required info for the form. No suspension for Isabelle!! Hooray!!

Isabelle way saying during her above meltdown that she’d rather be suspended than get a needled. I said that was cool, I could homeschool her in the fine arts of cleaning toilets and doing laundry. She made a screwed up frowny face at me. Hahaha.

Once again I find myself wishing that there was some unified way for all the Health Units to have to correct information. This simple mistake happened because the boxes weren’t checked correctly on the form that we were given and then provided to her school upon registration. Sigh…. More adventures in the raising of little humans.


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Sleepovers are exhausting…

I’m stumped. I just spent a weekend with my girlfriends, we stayed up late talking and snacking on all the wrong things and I still went home Sunday feeling pretty good.

Yesterday Madeline has a friend sleepover and today I feel as though I haven’t slept in a week!! This could have something to do with the fact that I was woken up at 4am to the sound of the girls giggling and moving about upstairs. I went up to find Madeline’s lamp on and both she and her friend busily crafting away. Isabelle was somehow sleeping through all of this.

I had them do a quick tidy and get back into bed. 30 minutes later I had to go back up because they were still being way to loud and had now turned on music, also too loud!

How could they even be awake and functioning?? They had finally settled and gone to sleep around 11pm. How on earth were they up and awake enough to craft!!

I woke up at 8:30 feeling like death. I would have slept longer but someone had to make the pancakes.

I shouldn’t even be up now. I should be in bed. I find myself too tired to fall asleep! What the #*$@ is up with that!! All day I have wanted to sleep. Unfortunately for me I had some adulting to do. Isabelle needs a new bathing suit as much as I do. Off we went to the mall. She managed to find one. I only ended up hating myself more.


Bathing suits are the devil. We should just be allowed to swim in our clothes. I feel comfortable for the most part in my clothes. Bathing suits should be burned. Sigh. I was doing my best to be upbeat around Isabelle about it. I explained I didn’t like any of the patterns. I said that maybe I just won’t go swimming. She nearly burst into tears at that idea so come hell or high water I will be finding a bathing suit in the next 3 weeks.


Time to try and go to bed. There will be no more sleepovers here until after vacation. I feel I will need that long to recover. Madeline did enjoy her birthday party which makes me feel good. It was fun driving a van full of girls around. I was serenaded to all the top 40 pop hits everywhere we went! Everyone enjoyed their dinner at Swiss Chalet. It was a first for all of her friends! Her pony birthday cake was a hit as well! The rest of the evening was spent dressing up and performing gymnastics while singing to more top 40 hits. Two of the girls went home and one remained for a sleepover. I can’t even begin to imagine how tired I’d be if all of them had spent the night!!